Sweet Baby…

Boy!

He’s nameless so far, although we have SOME idea of what one of his names will be…I’ll save it for the big reveal…once we figure out the whole thing!

We only got one 3D picture, but did get to see him in 3D a few times during the ultrasound.  Everything looks perfectly healthy and he is measuring almost exactly ontime for my Dec 17th due date.

My fav…the 3D picture…

Profile…he still has at least one hand up by his face which makes the profile a bit less clear:

The face…I find these kind of freaky looking…

And lastly…the proof.  I don’t think there’s too much doubt he’s a boy.  Anna’s ultrasound didn’t look ANYTHING like this!  LOL

 

Spinoff post…Music

I’ve been thinking about posting something like this for quite awhile, but could never quite get it all worded right in my head (and I’m not promising anything now).  The other day my sister posted this and I feel somewhat obliged now to create this spinoff post.  I’m not feeling very eloquent today, so this may come out pretty clunky.  You’ll just have to forgive me…or stop reading now.  You know, whatever…

As the title says…this post is about music.  The title of my sister’s post is something like “Life is better with a soundtrack”.  Quite honestly, it never occured to me that you could have a life WITHOUT a soundtrack.  Music was just something that was always around when we were growing up.  My dad had a HUGE CD collection and before that a pretty sizeable album collection…now it’s all MP3s.  I think the best thing about his music collection is how varied it is.  Some of it I like, some of it not so much, but we were exposed to different types of music growing up and I think that’s a great thing.  My memories differ a bit from my sister’s, but I think that’s kind of the point.  The music we grew up with was influential to us, but in different ways.  We attach the different songs and different artists to different memories or time periods.  She’s 6 years older than I am, so naturally, what I remember from being a 10 year old, she remembers from being a 16 year old…so that makes a huge difference.

Just to share a few memories maybe…Daddy never bought music on cassettes because the sound quality isn’t/wasn’t as good.  Before vacations, though I remember him making tapes for the road from his albums.  I remember because I had to be told to quit jumping around the den while he was trying to do this because I’d make the record skip. 

On those long vacation trips to Florida (in the car) we listened to things like Andreas Vollenweider (no idea if I spelled that right)…that’s some New Age “music” if you’re not familiar.  There was one particular “song” that I remember liking, but I know from experience (listening to things that Daddy bought) that New Age is not really my thing.  Not at age 6 or at age 32.  He also had tons of Jimmy Buffett.  So, we were all Jimmy Buffett fans before it was cool…before his concerts became the party to be at (are they still that way?).  You know, Cheeseburger in Paradise is just a fun song for a 7 year old.    When my younger sister was 2 or 3ish, which means I was 8 or 9ish, we used to dance around the den to what she called Candycane (or was it Peppermint?  Katie?).   It was excerpts from Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker.  I still really love the Dance of the Cossacks.  See…just little kid memories.  So far…

Fast forward a bit.  The strongest music – memory ties didn’t happen until later.  College.  I went through a dark phase for lack of a better word.  I enjoyed some grunge, lots of indie rock/emo crap, The Cure, Pink Floyd…older music by The Verve, The Pixies, Lou Reed (somewhat my father’s influence coming into play), The Velvet Underground.  Many, many angst-y songs.  There’s one Pixie’s song that I will forever associate with Erin teaching me to play bass.  Erin was a boyfriend for a very short period of time.  We became great friends after that whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing and he was my roommate for the last year or so of college.  I love Erin and miss hanging out with him.  He and I shared a big love of music and he introduced me to lots of great stuff.  We went to lots of shows together…mostly local bands.  We saw the PromiseRing…a band from New England (I believe) he introduced me to…at The End in Nashville in the fall of 1999 and that is one of my favorite memories.  It was really one of the best shows I’ve seen. 

There is a ton of music associate with the really dark years of my life.  Alot of dark, depressive music.  It’s the only thing that fit the mood of those years.  I rarely listen to it now.  Every now and then I’ll break out some of the lighter songs.  Some of The Verve, Lou Reed…You know Walk on the Wild Side is terribly inappropriate listening for a kid (um, seriously Daddy, wow!), but I always loved that song, it just wasn’t until much later that I understood what any of the lyrics meant!  Oh my!  Most of the music from this period makes me kind of laugh now…what the heck was I was angry and depressed about? 

In the past few years I guess you could say I’ve mellowed a bit in my musical taste.  I listen to lots of different stuff still, but there seems to be alot of country in my rotation lately…Lately being the last 5 or 6 years.  Of course, where I live now, country radio stations VASTLY outnumber everything else, so it doesn’t leave a person with alot of choice!  If I haven’t said it before, let me say it now…Pregnant women should not be allowed to listen to country music.  Anyway, there are 2 songs that I’ve heard recently for the first time in a while.  Both songs came out while I was pregnant with Anna.  Neither are really something I would normally like, but both mention babies…specifically girl babies.  There was just a lot of emotion wrapped up in my pregnancy with Anna.  I had waited for so long to BE pregnant.  Infertility had really sucked alot more out of me than I maybe even realized.  We were 3 months from my “it’s time to give up” deadline.  I will tell you I honestly thought, without a doubt, up until the day of the positive pregnancy test that I’d never have my own, biological child.  I know longer really believed that it was possible.  I was already looking at adoption.  So these 2 particular songs or at least certain parts of them really hit that nerve.  I don’t even remember the artist that did the first one…I think it’s called We Laughed Until We Cried.  I heard it the other day on the way to work and I had to reapply my mascara afterwards.  The last verse never fails to make me cry.  Prepare yourself for what you may think are somewhat cheesy lyrics…and put yourself in my formerly infertile shoes… 

Just the other night the baby was crying

so I got out of bed and rocked her awhile

And I held her tight, and I told her it would be alright

 

And my mind went back to a few years ago

We tried so long we almost gave up hope

And I remember you coming in and telling me the news…

 Oh, man we were livin’

Goin’ crazy in the kitchen

We jumped & screamed & held eachother tight

We laughed until we cried.

 

Which, incidentally we didn’t…I remember Mark being rather quiet about the whole thing when I told him and I had a nervous fit of giggles.  We were also not in the kitchen.  But anyway…You get the point.  There have been many, many, many times since Anna was born when I’ve gotten up with her and while sitting there nursing her or rocking her my mind HAS gone back to the whole infertility deal and it makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world to be up at 2am with a baby.  The feeling of sitting in a rocking chair in the light of a nightlight looking at my sweet, beautiful baby that spent 9 mos in my belly is really an amazing contrast to the bleak feeling of those months and years of infertility. 

The other song I remember being played alot right around the time Anna was born.  The spring and summer of 2008.  I actually heard it on the way back from my doctors appointment the day before she was born.  It’s a MOST unlikely song for me to like too.  I’m not a real God kind of person.  I don’t talk about God, I very rarely talk about religion at all unless I know you pretty well.  I don’t think my views are terribly popular around here…or at least if you think like I do and you live where I live, you just don’t talk about it much.  But I wouldn’t talk about it much anyway.  But hell, I’ll share a bit with the entire world on my blog…as ostracized as it might make me.    I don’t do church.  I did do church at one point in my life.  I got a bit disallusioned with it all somewhere along the way.  I don’t see God in those terms.  I’m more of a God in everything kind of person.  So, this song fit me in that way I guess.  It’s by George Strait and it’s called I Saw God Today.  Again…it’s the freaking last verse.  I heard this one just the other day too.  It’s not so much that it makes me cry, but it really, really takes me back to that time…right before and right after Anna was born.  Lets see if I can remember lyrics of that last verse for you…

I’ve got my nose pressed up against the nursery glass

She’s sleeping like a rock,

My name on her wrist

Wearing tiny pink socks

 

She’s got my nose, she’s got her mama’s eyes

My brand new baby girl,

She’s a miracle

I saw God today

 

So, now that I’ve completely lost all my cool points with the sappy country songs…LOL

There are really too many songs/memories to count.  Songs that are tied to various parts of my life.  Some tied to different relationships.  Some tied to my marriage to Mark.  There’s a whole CD full of songs by various people that will forever be tied to those first few weeks with Mark.  We seemed to always have a certain digital satellite music channel on in the background when I’d come over to his (now our) house.  Amos Lee sticks out in my mind from that time.  The first (and only so far) time that we went to the beach with my family we listened to Jimmy Buffett’s Beaches CD (from the box set)…That’s when I really fell in love with Tin Cup Chalice…even though I had to have heard that song a million times before then.  That’s the memory I tie it to. 

Maybe it’s not unique.  Maybe all people do this.  I guess I’ve always been one to really immerse myself in music.  I love good lyrics and I love good arrangements.  They seem to touch a deeper place in me than they do in some people.  Like my sister said, this could only come from our dad…and he could only have gotten it from his dad.  I remember having a conversation with my grandfather about this very thing. 

I listen carefully to songs.  I memorize lyrics without thinking and it seems completely beyond my control, but if it’s a song I like, I try to find a tie to my life.   The lyrics don’t always fit perfectly, but there’s usually a line here or there that hits home and I like that.  It connects me to the music. 

I like that I can pull out mix CDs from years ago and remember exactly where I was in life when I made the CD…who the people around me were and what frame of mind I was in that day.  Almost like a diary.  A little too telling sometimes.  I can listen to CD’s in order from 2002 until today and I can hear myself growing up…going from my dark, moody wild child phase, through my first marriage, a husband in a war zone, infertility, a dissovling marriage, a divorce, remarriage, more infertility, a pregnancy, the birth of my first baby, job loss, a new pregnancy…right up until today. 

So, there’s my overly verbose version of Life is Better with a Soundtrack.  It’s taken me all freaking day to write.   

It’s just about time to go home for the weekend.  So, I’m going to hop in my car, put a pretty recent CD an listen to Big Green Tractor…because it reminds me of falling in love with my husband and that’s just kind of sweet to me.

 

This is how it goes…

It’s been over 2 weeks since my last post.  It’s been 2 weeks full of more worry…it got worse instead of better.

The Friday before last Mark and I spent some time out in the pergola after Anna went to bed talking about our situation.  When his unemployment compensation ends, where else we could possibly look to find him a job, etc.  It wasn’t a happy conversation, obviously.  Not that it was a fight.  I think we’d both just been doing our best to avoid the topic…we had, after all, been getting by…even if just barely.  It just got the point that we needed to face it…things were about to get worse.  Unemployment benefits don’t last forever.

I had gotten off work early that Friday.  Our boss gave us each 1/2 a day off with pay because of the fabulous job we had done getting ready to take on our 4 new cable systems.  I had left my cell phone on vibrate simply because I didn’t remember to turn the ringer back on after I got off work.  Saturday went along as our Saturdays generally do anymore.  When Anna went down for her afternoon nap, I got ready to go to the grocery store.  I happened to check my phone as I was getting ready to leave.  I had 3 messages.  One from my mother…who I had just spoken to the day before, one from UTM (the University here) asking if I would be interested in a temp job (this is a whole other story) and one from a guy that works for the company that supplies office equipment and supplies to the company I work for.  I had met this guy when I first started my new job.  I had talked to him briefly and mentioned that Mark was looking for a job and that he repairs office equipment.  The guy didn’t think they needed anyone, but did ask about Mark’s level of experience.  He said he’d pass the info along and if they needed someone, he’d know where to find me.  Blah, blah, blah.  I started my job 3 months ago, and it’s been that long since I talked to that guy.  I’d kind of written that whole thing off.  That 3rd message was from him.  His company wanted to interview Mark.  I swear I was giddy!  I ran outside to tell Mark.  I think we were both immediately excited.  Of course, this is Saturday afternoon.  The guy had called on Friday, but I’d missed the call.  So we had to wait until Monday morning to find out anything more.  Ugh…the wait!

Monday morning I returned the guy’s call.  He gave me the owner’s number to have Mark call.  I called Mark and let him know.  This was before 8am.  Before Mark had a chance to call, the owner left me a message on my phone.  They seemed pretty anxious…That felt like a good sign.  So Mark finally spoke to the owner, his resume was emailed, an interview was set up for Tuesday morning in Jackson.  Tuesday morning Mark stopped by my office on his way back from the interview.  It went well, but they had one guy left to interview.  We knew that Mark had the edge with his level of experience, but experience costs money, so I was concerned about that too.  We heard nothing more until Thursday.  Mark called me at work to tell me.  He got the job!  He starts a week from Monday.  I think he’s excited, but a little sad about not being able to stay home with Anna anymore.  We have a daycare picked out we think.  It’s going to be a tough transition for us all I’m afraid.  Mark will be working in Jackson for now.  It’s about an hour away.  I work 45 minutes away.  We’re going to have Anna in daycare in Martin though.  It’s going to take some time to get into a good routine with all of this.  I’m going to have to adjust my work schedule so I can get back to Martin in time to pick Anna up from daycare.  I was really hoping Mark would do the drop off in the mornings.  I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with that again.  It was so, so hard the first time we put her in daycare.  I’m trying not to think about that part.

So, this is just how things seem to go for me.  Just when I really start to feel like I should just give up on whatever the problem is.  Just when I’m getting to the point of no longer being able to see any possible positive outcome…something happens like this.  I am so thankful…maybe more thankful than I might have otherwise been.

So, at least for now, things are looking up.  Mark is employed, I am employed.  Anna is a sweet, happy little one year old and the new baby is starting to make me more and more aware of his/her presence.  I’m feeling actual kicks now and today, for the first time, Mark was able to feel a kick too.  With any luck in another week and a half we’ll know whether we’re expecting a boy or a girl.

I feel like I’m breathing a little easier now.  Money is still tight and will be for a while longer, but at least I feel like we’ll be able to better prepare for my unpaid maternity leave.  I feel so, so lucky.

 

Random ramblings

Edited to add pictures…

This may turn into a really random post.  So, I apologize in advance if it gets that way.

I’ve (obviously) been pretty slack about posting this past couple weeks.  I’ve started and scrapped a couple posts, but never hit publish.  You’re welcome.

I’ve been stressing about various things, then I get over that and move on to something else.  Money.  Jobs.  Babies.  Marriage.  The house.  The car.  You name it, it’s been on my mind.  This isn’t all negative, though.  I think I’ve been able to find a postive to match each negative.  Well, mostly.

Money, jobs, the economy.  Mark still having a tough time finding a job.  Jobs are just few and far between around here.  It’s like that around here at the best of times, but with the economy being the way it is, I dare day it’s worse.  Money is tight.  I’ve been working overtime as much as I can.  I’ve been going in at 6am and working until 5:30pm…taking just a 30 minute lunch.  I’m doing that to try to get the hours in that everyone else is getting in.  They’re all working from 8am-8pm.  I’m lucky that let me rearrange my schedule.  It sucks getting up at 4:30am, but at least I’m home in time to see Anna for a bit, feed her dinner, give her a bath and put her to bed.  That makes it worth it.  I’d be a mess if I didn’t get to spend a little time with her each day.

Money is frustrating.  I wish we had more…don’t we all?  It’s not horrible though.  We’re making it.  I was thinking about it the other day and was a bit shocked at my view about our financial position.  We don’t have a lot of extras in our life right now.  We hardly ever eat out.  We have pretty basic cell phones…no Blackberries here.  We don’t have anything special on our satellite tv package.  Our vehicles aren’t new and they aren’t at all fabulous.  Our house is OLD and far from being laid out in an ideal way.  There are so many extras that we just don’t have…can’t afford, whatever.  And I don’t particularly care about most of it.  I guess that’s a good thing!    I’d love to fix our house…make it more convenient for a family of almost 4.  I’d love to buy a nicer, safer car (or 2).  Oh, and I LOVE to eat out!  But we’ve got what we need.  The basics with just a few minor extras…

Babies.  I had my first doctor’s appointment with my new doctor.  The practice is huge, but I think I’ll be ok.  They don’t make their maternity patients rotate through all the doctors.  I can pick a doctor I like and stick with her (or him, but it’s looking like it’s going to be a her).  I asked a ton of questions when I saw the doctor last Monday and she was helpful and thorough with her answers.  She seemed to appreciate my level of knowledge about how I want my pregnancy and the birth to go.  We even talked about what kind of stitches she used for the c-section.  Yeah, I’m weird…I have a preference.  With my last c-section the doctor used Dermabond (kind of a glue) for the outer “stitches”.  I liked that.  So, the new doctor said she’d be happy to do that if I wanted.  She uses it frequently, but not usually for c-sections.  Cool.  She gave me the option to do or not do the quad screen.  I chose to do it.  That’s a blood test to test for chromosomal abnormalities and some neural tube defects.  Well, it’s not a yes or no kind of test, but it is supposed to show if there is an increased risk.  If there is, they will refer me for further testing…detailed ultrasounds and/or an amnio.  We talked about when they’d want to do the c-section.  We’ll schedule it 4-6 weeks ahead of time and it should be between December 10th and December 16th.  We talked about the hospital I’ll deliver at.  It’s not the one I thought it would be.  This one is a bit further away.  I started worrying about the arrangements we’ll have to make for Anna, and if Mark will get to spend any time there with me and the new baby.  I’m not even sure if Anna will be allowed to visit.  I got myself good and freaked out about that.  Then I decided maybe I needed to wait awhile to freak out about that…at least until after we do the hospital tour and find out for sure what their policies are.

Oh, and we made our ultrasound appointment.  It’s August 5th.  We get to find out the gender of this little one…assuming the little one decides to cooperate!  I’m so, so excited!

I’ve got a few pics to post, but I’ll have to do that later.  Must cook dinner now.

And here are the pictures…

The first of these are for my cousin Rebecca…You wanted to see my belly…..ooooook.

7 weeks:

Almost 15 weeks:

And just for fun (and my own personal humiliation), here’s my belly progression with Anna:

Hmmm…started off a little thicker this time.  Ugh.

And here’s a trick Anna decided to try last week.  Mark managed to catch it on camera…Cute huh?  Now if we could only convince her to put the blocks back in it!

 

I thought you could use a break…

From my overly-emotional, pregnancy-hormone-fueled posts.

So I gave you like a whole week and half (or something like that) off.  I’m nothing if not generous, right?

This has really been an insane few weeks.  I’m beyond tired.  All the extra time I got to spend with family & friends has been totally worth it, but that doesn’t make me any less tired.  Neither does sleeping apparently.  What’s up with that?

So the weekend before last Anna & I drove to Hendersonville for a visit.  Last weekend, my whole family came here.  We had Anna’s official birthday party last Saturday.  I think we had 23 people total.  If you’ve been to my house, you know that’s way more people than my house can accomodate!  It was meant to be an outdoor party and it was a very hot day for it!  No one complained (much anyway).  We changed things up by hanging out on the front porch/front yard.  Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  Anna included.  She was completely uninterested in opening presents, so she played with the ribbons and bows while I opened them for her.  She gots tons of stuff!  Lots of sweet little outfits, new books and new toys.  Everyone was way too generous!

I have a ton of pictures…from 3 different cameras…so I’ll just pick a few for now!

Anna & our good friend Jimmie…

Anna in the midst of her presents:

The cake!

It took her awhile, but eventually she briefly tried the face plant method of cake-eating:

Doesn’t she look sweet eating her cake?

Sorry…just a few more!

Big handful of cake:

I LOVE this one!

 

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

I have such mixed feelings about Anna turning one.  I had such a weepy day.  I had to sneak off to the bathroom at work a few times today to get it out of my system and compose myself.  I am NOT a public crier either.  There really aren’t that many people that ever see me cry and my co-workers aren’t in that group.  Lucky them!    Ugh, these hormones are kicking my butt!

Once I got home from work…Anna was excited to see me, which is always nice!  Mark started dinner then we took Anna outside for her present…We were given an old swing set by some friends.  Mark sanded and painted it last week and I got a baby/toddler swing for her…we put it on the swingset last night.  I knew she’d like it, but she liked it even more than I thought!  She giggled and squealed while Mark pushed her in the swing…here are a few pics.  I should have done video…the giggles were so cute!

After we were all soaked in sweat from the heat and humidity, we had some dinner.  Steak, zucchini, squash & corn.  Anna LOVES steak (I wonder where she got that?).  Then we moved on to cake…She really liked the cake itself, but she didn’t tear into it like we’d hoped.  Mark finally pulled a chunk off for her to show her how it’s done.  That didn’t help much either.  She ate quite a bit, but really preferred when we fed it to her.  She’d pick it up out my hand eat the cake and then suck the frosting off her hands.  Goofy kid!  She gets to try again on Saturday, though, when we have her party.

I’ll post more pictures then.  The internet is being uncooperative and I need to get to bed.

Happy Birthday my sweet, sweet baby!

 

The day before

Ah, the flashbacks continue, and I may turn into a weepy mess at any moment.  Is this normal or are the pregnancy hormones a contributing factor?  Ugh.

Here’s a link to my post from June 16, 2008…just for comparisons sake, and since I’ve been going back and reading these lately…http://smasco.wordpress.com/2008/06/16/well/

About this time last year I was just finishing up at the doctor’s office.  I was calling Mark to let him know that later that evening we’d be getting me checked into the hospital so they could start prepping me for induction.  Mark was at work at the time and went into overdrive trying to tie up loose ends in preparation for several days off.  The only time I had seen him more nervous was on our wedding day, and it was rather adorable.  I called my mom and went home to finish packing.  I was pretty nervous myself, but really excited and, looking back now, so very blissfully unaware of the hell I was about to enter into during the next 12 hours (by that I mean labor…not motherhood itself).  If I had known I would’ve taken a very long nap.  I had gotten up around 7am that day (the 16th).  I wouldn’t really sleep again until about 4:15pm on the 17th…

At the time I wasn’t thinking about c-sections or the pain of contractions…I was focused on a sweet baby girl in my arms.  My mind knew there would be pain involved followed by many sleepless nights, but none of that really registers when you’re 9 months pregnant and ready to meet your baby…and that’s probably a good thing.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since that day and tomorrow will be a year since Anna was (finally) born.  It’s weird to sit here at my desk at work, looking at the pictures on my desk, which are mostly of Anna, and think of that last day of my pregnancy with her.  The changes in her are incredible, of course.  It’s unbelievable how much a baby changes in their first year of life.  The changes in me are incredible too.  They weren’t kidding when they said having a baby will change everything.  I don’t think there is an aspect of my life that has been left untouched…and there really is nothing better than being Anna’s mommy…I mean, look at that face!

More overly sentimental posts coming soon I’m sure!  ;o)

 

Just one more week…

Until my baby girl turns 1.  The only thing that’s making this any easier is that I’ll have another tiny baby in 6 more months.  Really that’s not helping that much though.   I can’t believe how fast it’s gone by and how much she’s changed and grown.  The first year is really amazing!

Over the past week or so I’ve spent some time reading through my blog archives…from this time last year.  I’m so glad I have those blog entries to read!  It’s made me teary some, it’s made me laugh at myself some.  Overall it’s been nice to think back to that time.  It’s amazing how blissfully unaware I was of what was to come.  I mean, there was no way I could know, but still…it’s interesting to look back on it now that I know what I know.

My entries from the last few weeks of my pregnancy remind me of how tired I was, how uncomfortable I was and how ready I was to meet my baby.  I didn’t know then how hard it would be to get her here.  I didn’t know that 2 weeks after she was born the colic would start and I didn’t have any idea that it would go on until almost October.  I had NO idea that a year later I’d be expecting another baby…if you’d told me that then I would’ve laughed!  I would have never thought it was even a possibility.

Most of all I didn’t know how fast that tiny baby would grow up.  That she would just now be starting to sleep through the night on her own (3 nights in a row and counting!) and how even just the thought of her sweet little smile would make my day.  I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.  I wouldn’t trade a second of the pain it took to get her here…neither the years of infertility nor the 20 hours of labor.  I wouldn’t trade the days of colic even though I really thought we’d never make it through that.  Because, to me, if just ONE second was different I would be different, Mark would be different, Anna would be different and I wouldn’t want that.  Mark and I dealt with a lot and overcame alot to get the happy little almost-one-old baby girl we have today.  If she had never been such a difficult, high-maintenance baby I wouldn’t be able to appreciate all the smiles and giggles she gives us now like I do.

I get tired, and I’m scared to death of having 2 babies under 2, BUT being a mom is even better than I thought possible.  I just thought I’d share because that’s what’s on my mind today.

In more mommy news…I had my 12 week OB appt. on Monday.  This is my last appointment with this doctor…the doctor that ended up delivering Anna.  She’s moving out of state and there is no way the other 2 doctors are touching me after the experience I with Anna’s birth.  So, I’m changing practices.  I may have to deliver this baby in Jackson, which I’d prefer not to do.  I’m still waiting to hear for sure if I can get in with another doctor that practices in Martin, but delivers in Union City.  Keep your fingers crossed that works out for us!  It would be easier for us logistically since we have to make sure someone can keep Anna while Mark is with me during the c-section.  Anyway…back to the appointment.  Not a whole lot to report really.  I gained 2 pounds I think.  I had lost 5, so I guess gaining 2 is ok.  The 12 week appt is usually when they try to listen to the heartbeat on the doppler for the first time.  Of course, I have a rented doppler at home, so I had already heard the heartbeat.  The doctor couldn’t find it with the doppler.  This baby likes to hide, so it usually takes me awhile to find it.  Since it was my last appt with her and the ultrasound technician was off that day, the doctor took me back to do a quick ultrasound.  Woohoo!  I didn’t get any pictures to take with me since she was really just doing a quick check for the heartbeat.  I did get to see the baby moving around though.  And it looks like a baby now…albeit a very skinny baby.  I got to see a little arm waving at us and the baby did some flip-flops.  We did confirm that the baby has a strong little heartbeat and the doctor said he/she was very active.  I love ultrasounds…they’re the best.  I was kind of bummed that I’ve gotten to see the baby twice now and Mark hasn’t seen the baby at all.  Both times the ultrasounds weren’t planned though, so we had no way of knowing.  I imagine I’ll get to schedule my “big” ultrasound at my next appointment though…and Mark will definitely be there for that one.  Probably Anna too.  I think it will end up being towards the end of July or beginning of August.

Ok…I’m at work, so I suppose I should do some work.  Even if it is pretty slow right now.  I hope everyone is having a great week!

Edited to add…I just found this picture on my computer.  I don’t know if I’ve posted it before, but I LOVE it!  It was just a quick snapshot while she was sitting in her stroller down by the garden.  It’s about a month old, but just look at that sweet, sweet face!

 

Busy weekends for the wannabe farmer

Mark has this dream of selling vegetables on the side of the road.  No, seriously.  Actually I think he wants ME to do it.  He talked about me doing this while I was on maternity leave with Anna, and seemed to think that this would be a simple think to do with an infant in tow.  Mmmmhmmm…Now that Anna is staying home with him again.  I think he should do it!  We’re going to have plenty of melons and vegetables.  And it’ll be NO PROBLEM to do with a 1 year old!  She won’t mind hanging out on the side of the road in her pack-n-play in 90 degree weather…for hours at a time.  Right?  Oh, you think she will?  Hmmm…

Anyway, I guess because he secretly wants to be a full-time farmer, when it comes time to plant the garden, he goes a bit overboard.  This year was no exception.  I don’t know how on Earth he thinks a family of 3 will be able to consume this many vegetables!  I try to talk him down every year.  We really only need one squash plant, etc.  Well, we ended up with 4 squash plants and 2 zucchini plants.  We have a whole row of tomato plants (different varieties) and more than 1 row of pepper plants.  Oh, and that’s not all!  I won’t give you a complete inventory, but it’s a big job to stay on top of it all.  We’ve done better each year.  This being (I believe) the 4th year…though I really shouldn’t count the first year.  It was really, really a sad “garden” that year.  I think we harvested one inedible squash the whole season.  Last Sunday morning, we loaded up Anna (once again) in her Jeep stroller and she hung out down by the garden while Mark and I weeded the garden.  The thing about gardens is that they are in full sun.  It got hot fast.  We managed to get the whole garden weeded, landscape fabric under the melon plants.  Then we went and planted another garden.  Really.

On our back 25 acres (I so need a better name for that section of land), Mark had tilled a section about as large as our “real” garden.  So last Sunday, we planted that section too.  Pumpkins, butternut squash, acorn squash, gourds and corn.

That brings us to this weekend.  The garden needs weeded again.  AGAIN!  It’s not terrible, but it needs to be done before it gets out of control.  Thankfully the garden has decided to produce something to make all these weeding worthwhile.  Even if it it’s really only been cucumbers so far.  Oh, and 2 or 3 little squashes.  Is that the plural of squash, or is squash the plural of squash?  It’s just squash, isn’t it?  You get the point though.

It just occurred to me this morning that this is the last weekend I’m going to be home before Anna’s birthday party.  So I had to sit down and make a list of all the little things that need to get done.  It’s a long list.  We have about 20 people coming for the party itself, plus my family coming the afternoon before and staying until the day after.  It was never my intent to have  “big” first birthday party for her, but when your family is as large as mine, things get big fast!  I’m excited to have everyone here.  This will be the third time in the almost 4 years that Mark and I have been married that my family (sisters, brothers-in-law, parents, niece and nephews) has come to visit us on the farm.  The only year they didn’t come here we all went on vacation together in Florida.  It nice to have everyone together.  This year we’ll be missing one…my brother-in-law Wayne is in Iraq for a few more months.    I know we’ll all miss having him here.  It’s never as fun when even one person isn’t there.

Next weekend I’m headed to Hendersonville to see my sister Laura and her 4 boys who are coming to visit (finally!) from Hawaii.  They moved last year just before Anna was born so they haven’t met her yet.  I can’t wait for them to meet her…and for her to meet them!

The weekend after that is the party.  The weekend after that Mark is going on a camping/fishing trip.  The weekend after that I will be sleeping.  Alot.  Maybe I should start now…I’m tired just thinking about it!  I can’t wait though!

 

Life keeps getting more interesting!

Anna seems to be going through a developmental growth spurt.  She’s learning new things so fast!  Every day it’s something new!  Just a week or 2 ago she learned to pull up on things…but she’d only get up on her knees.  It didn’t take too long before she learned to get up on her feet.  Now she’s really fast at that.  She hasn’t started crusing yet (walking around the furniture while holding on), but I don’t imagine it’ll be much longer.  I watched her yesterday as she stood holding on to the coffee table eyeing the exersaucer that was a foot or 2 away.  She wanted to get over there so bad!  I could see the wheels turning in her little head.  She hasn’t quite gotten it together yet, but walking is clearly not far behind.  She’s figured out how to get upright and now she wants to move!

Saturday morning she somehow climbed out of her crib.  It about gave me a heart attack.  Mark and I were outside (with the baby monitor) when it apparently happened.  It’s not unusual for her to cry when she’s ready to get out of bed, so I went to get her only to find her crawling out of her room towards me.  Thankfully there is a baby gate there and she can’t get out into the rest of the house!  And thankfully she seems to be perfectly fine after her crib-escape stunt, but it did really scare me (and I think her too).  This kid needs to SLOW DOWN!!

For the record…the crib mattress has been lowered as far as it will go.  I wonder how much longer that will be enough?

Last week was an interesting week.  Anna has been cranky (teething again I’m pretty sure).  She’s not eaten or slept well and therefore I haven’t slept well either.  Going back to work after a long weekend is no fun anyway, and the lack of sleep didn’t help.  I didn’t have to deal with daycare last week though and that was good.  Mark stayed home with Anna.  I think it made for a much happier mama and baby.  Back to daycare for Anna today though…although I think we’re going to make this her last week…at least at this daycare.

That 45 minute commute each morning and afternoon gives me lots of time to think.  I guess I’ve been in an unusually pensive mood anyway this past week.  The Friday before last I got my rental fetal doppler.  I’ve listened to the new baby’s heartbeat several times since then.  I think after dealing with infertility for so long before Anna, that extra reassurance just means so much to me.  I know some people think it’s silly, but I’d challenge you to walk a mile in my (formerly infertile) shoes.  It helps my anxiety level so much to know that the baby is in there with a nice, strong heartbeat…which means that my body is doing things exactly as it should be doing things.  After feeling like my body was failing me (by failing to get pregnant), it’s nice to know it CAN work properly.

I was thinking during one of my commutes last week about something my cousins wife (Patti) said in a blog comment either when I was pregnant with Anna or just after I had her.  I don’t remember the exact words, but the gist of it…she was talking about she and my cousin (her husband) seeing eachother as parents and the way that affected their marriage after their first child was born.  Yeah.  I think at the time she left that comment I wasn’t at a place where I knew how that would be for Mark and me.  Now our daughter is almost a year old.  I guess to some degree I thought I knew about what kind of father Mark would be.  I was certainly on track with how I thought it would be, but maybe this is just one of those things that you can’t see the depth of until you get to a certain point (and I’m sure this will continue to change).  Mark started out being pretty hands-on.  I had a c-section and watched from the hospital bed as he changed Anna’s first few diapers, he never complained about it, he just did it.  He was never particularly tentative with Anna either.  He’d never been around infants much, if at all, but he just stepped in and learned as he went and, with very few hiccups, did perfectly well.  I don’t guess it ever occurred to me at the time to be impressed.  I had too much on my own plate.  I am impressed, though, thinking back now.  I’m not saying we didn’t have our disagreements with how things should be done.  We still do and I’m sure that’ll continue.  I’ve watched him grow into his role as a father and it’s really a remarkable thing to watch…especially when it’s the father of your own child.  Watching them interact sometimes makes me want to cry…and I mean that in a good way.  The way he is silly with her…the way he makes her laugh.  It’s the best thing in the world to see.  It’s interesting to see how it affects the way I feel about Mark.  It really has added a whole new dimension to our relationship.  I’m not sure why that’s surprising, but I didn’t expect it.  It’s like I get to share a bit of the love that Anna has for him, and it’s so, so special.